Every Word Pertaining to the Female Body is a Dirty Word
To Break the Taboos, Shall We Start Talking?
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You know how, while carrying on a conversation, you can simultaneously engage in an internal monologue, making quick calculations about what to say and how to say it?
This happened to me earlier this month when I happened to meet a University of Maryland student I’ll call Frank. We chatted between excellent presentations by Christine Brennan and other journalists at the Shirley Povich Sports Journalism Symposium, and when I told him I write about women and sports, he asked me to explain the situation with Imane Khelif, the male boxer who won Olympic gold in the women’s division in 2024.
Before he even finished asking his question, I was already wondering, Can I say “period” to this young man? “Menstruate”? How would “female genitalia” go over?
He was a college journalism major, about 20 years old. This year’s symposium was focused on women’s sports.
I shouldn’t avoid such terms as if they’re shameful, should I?
Two roads diverged in a university ballroom, and I – being me – I took the one less traveled by.
“Khelif is a male boxer who was probably born with ambiguous or female-appearing genitalia,” I explained. “In such cases, the XY chromosomes and internal testes are not discovered until puberty, when this person, who was raised female, does not start menstruating. When girls do not get a period, doctors are consulted and that’s when, in cases like this, the fact of his maleness is discovered.”
You know how you can read emotions on people’s faces? When someone feels anxious or scared, all their facial muscles, including those in their eyes, stop moving. It’s like a Zoom call when the other person freezes: silent, unreachable, fixed in space and time.
“Frank, you’re frozen,” I wanted to tell him. “Log out and back in.”
Eventually, I broke the spell by changing the subject. I was okay with this exchange. We were attending the symposium to learn things. I was teaching him that a stranger in an academic setting might mention menstrual periods and female bodies. He was confirming that the conversation triggered something akin to panic. Which is why many women don’t do this: discuss female anatomy and physiology with anyone outside their intimate circles.
But Period Is Not a Dirty Word. Or Is It?
Thanks to my friend Jane Gottesman, author of Game Face, I’m reading an excellent new book (related to a museum exhibit) called Get in the Game: Sports, Art, Culture. It features an interview with Alysia Montaño, a world champion middle-distance runner best known for: 1) racing while eight months pregnant; and 2) calling out Nike for their sexist maternity policy, thus shaming them and other sponsors into doing more to support athletic mothers.
During Montaño’s first pregnancy, as she strategized how to return to peak condition postpartum, she discovered to her dismay that there was a dearth of relevant research. “A lot of performance metrics are based on our data default: the male body,” she says. Her male coaches “talk a lot about diaphragmatic breathing, which happens to pertain to the pelvic floor and the uterine wall, but those words aren’t mentioned... Because every word pertaining to the female body is a dirty word.”
That last sentence stopped me cold. Every word pertaining to the female body is a dirty word.
Stigma and Silence in Women’s Football (Soccer)
A 2022 report entitled, “Periods and Pregnancy Still Taboo in Women’s Football” validates Montaño’s experience. Education about menstruation, hormones, contraception, and pregnancy was found to be “severely lacking,” according to research conducted at women’s football (soccer) clubs in six European countries. The players’ explanation? “The female game is still predominantly coached by males.”
“These findings shine a light on the fact that football training and education is… geared towards the men’s games,” said co-author Dr. Alex Blackett. “The willingness to have open discussions is so important because… there is still a stigma attached.”
A New Obstacle: Women Who Don’t Want to be Considered Women
The ancient period taboo – with a modern twist – cost lacrosse coach Kim Russell her job. For five years, Russell, a former Division I player and Hall of Fame coach of 28 years, served as head women’s lacrosse coach at Oberlin College. Because menstruation affects athletic performance, Russell invited a guest instructor, a lacrosse coach who specializes in menstruation, to talk with the team.
The players were attentive, but some later objected to the guest’s use of the words queens and goddesses. Why? “You could say that I coached them so well to be good teammates” that the players “spoke up on behalf of their non-binary teammates,” she explains. Being compared to women, even metaphorically, was deemed intolerable for players who identified as non-binary, despite the fact that they were female.
Siding with students, the administration told her, “No more period talks.” In other words: Deny important information to female athletes because it might make some of them uncomfortable.
Russell was also chastised for using “gendered language.” The terms “girls,” “ladies,” and “women” all upset the team.
“It was a women’s team!” Russell told me in an interview this week, still sounding shocked at “how incredible this systematic brainwashing was and still is.”
“Transwomen are women” is preached at Oberlin, Russell told me. Yet some actual women, apparently, could not countenance being referred to as such.
The day her story appeared in USA Today, Russell was removed her from her coaching duties. She resigned a month later and is now Director of National Teams & Head Women’s Coach for U.S. Virgin Islands Lacrosse. She also testifies about the importance of all-female sports.
Breaking Taboos
On some fronts, things are improving. The United States women’s national soccer team has used menstrual cycle synching since 2018. This training regimen involves period tracking and adjusting food intake and workouts to boost energy, mitigate abdominal discomfort, and reduce risk of injury.1
When Dawn Scott, the Washington Spirit’s vice president of performance, medical and innovation, and Dr. Georgia Brunivels, a leader in women’s sports and menstruation, introduced cycle synching to the team, “there was some initial embarrassment – hunched shoulders and faces shrouded in hoodies,” Sports Illustrated reported last year. “However, that awkwardness quickly subsided as it became clear that there was a real competitive advantage to be leveraged.”
Period apps have become popular. About 35 percent of women between 18 and 50 structure workouts based on their cycle, according to a survey of 17,000 consumers by MindBody Business.
“Why wouldn’t we all want to study this topic and see what we can learn so we can feel better and perform better?” asks Kim Russell.
“What if we empower women to know more about their bodies and have agency over them?” asks Alysia Montaño.
While asserting our rights to play sports and to be celebrated for our successes, women have long tried to minimize or hide our menstrual cycles, as if they do not matter. But our entire female bodies matter. Whether running while pregnant, breastfeeding in between swimming workouts, or managing tampon changes or hot sweats during pickleball tournaments, we need to speak unashamedly and unapologetically about female anatomy and physiology.
I’ll start: Period. Menstruation. Menopause. Nursing. Blood. Milk. Uterus. Ovaries. Fallopian tubes. Vagina. Vulva. Clitoris. Pelvic floor. Breasts.
Girl. Woman.
Queens. Goddesses.
Related Stronger Women essays:
"He Cheated" Finally Answers: How Often Do Males Compete in Women’s Sports?
Women Say No Again – This Time Louder – to Males in Women’s Sports (Part 1)
For instance, the ovulation phase of the menstrual cycle has been linked to ligament laxity and ACL injuries.
Great article. We can't fully explain why an effeminate man is not a woman unless people understand biology. You nailed it Mariah.
Oops, that's another one of those childish boy words that adult men use to describe sex...
While we're at it, let's teach our sons to not use violent words when describing sex with women. The expression “I'd hit that” spoken by an actor in a movie or a kid in high school should be enough to cause every parent or teacher to launch into a feminist discussion about respect and how misogyny hurts both men and women.
So interesting and insightful. While not directly relevant to discussions by and about women athletes, your comments remind me of the times my father referred to menstruation as, "women's problems."
More recently, while talking about his wife a man told me she was having a "problem down south." (I'm not making this up). I wondered if she was in Richmond. lol