Open Letter to Governor Youngkin Requesting All-Female Locker Rooms
Virginia Must Stop Discriminating Against Women & Girls
Hi friends and welcome, new subscribers. This special edition of Stronger Women is being sent to the Virginia Governor. If you can use any of this text or rationale in your own efforts to secure all-female locker rooms, please feel free.
February 24, 2025
Dear Governor Youngkin:
I'm a longtime Virginia resident with serious concerns about current policies that allow males — based on their self-perception or claim to be transgender — into locker rooms reserved for girls and women.
I’m writing to thank you for one huge accomplishment — and to ask you to take one more step to protect the dignity, privacy, and safety of girls and women.
First, the thank you: As you know, the sport governing bodies of Virginia’s public and private high schools finally complied with the Executive Order called Keeping Men Out of Women's Sports and agreed to restrict eligibility for female sports teams to females. As a lifelong women’s sports advocate, I commend you for urging these associations to follow the law.
The Males-in-Women’s Locker Rooms Problem Persists
Now for the request: At least five northern Virginia public school systems (Alexandria City, Arlington County, Fairfax County, Loudoun County, and Prince William County) still allow male students to use girls’ locker rooms if they call themselves trans, according to recent America First Legal and Defense of Freedom Institute complaints.
The Department of Education has initiated an investigation. Keeping Men out of Women's Sports directs the Secretary of Education to "take all appropriate action to affirmatively protect all-female athletic opportunities and all-female locker rooms and thereby provide the equal opportunity guaranteed by Title IX of the Education Amendments Act of 1972.”
Yet Arlington County shows no signs of protecting girls and women. Its Transgender Students in Schools policy requires “access to facilities that correspond to a student’s gender identity… be available to all students.”
Why in the world are we traumatizing naked girls by allowing naked boys to walk in at any moment?
Sex Offender in My Arlington Women’s Locker Room
I’m a former Stanford and pro basketball player; author of several books and hundreds of articles about women and sports; and columnist at Stronger Women. I co-authored the Women’s Sports Policy Working Group’s “Access to Female Athletes’ Locker Rooms Should Be Restricted to Female Athletes.”
I’m also a recreational swimmer at Washington-Liberty High School in Arlington, Virginia, where I have lived since 1988. Washington-Liberty is one of four schools or recreation centers where registered sex offender Richard Cox exposed himself in women’s locker rooms after being granted access based on trans-inclusive policies.
“I’m transgender” has become the new “Open Sesame,” a magic phrase that grants any men access to women’s intimate spaces.
But Believe It or Not, The Main Problem is Not Sex Offenders
Superintendent Dr. Francisco Durán assured the community and parents in a series of letters that schools will implement new procedures to screen out registered sex offenders. But it’s not the registered sex offenders who worry girls and women.
Why grant any males access to spaces where girls and women undress?
Gender identity is irrelevant. No males belong in women’s changing rooms. As far as girls and women are concerned, any naked man in our space is an exhibitionist — which is a crime. Any man looking at our naked bodies is a voyeur — which is a crime.
As Michelle Dewberry repeatedly asked in viral video interview,
“Why should I, as a female, be forced to get undressed in front of a male?”
Here’s what psychologist Amy Sousa says we’re teaching kids:
When “boys are taught they are entitled to violate girls’ boundaries when it comes to their privacy in intimate spaces, it teaches them to practice predatory and abusive behavior.”
“When girls are taught by teachers and school boards that their boundaries around their bodies don’t matter, it teaches them… to deny their own discomfort in order to emotionally support boys. This is the opposite of healthy bodily autonomy, authority, and boundaries... This teaches them to accept abuse and become the caretaker of their abuser.”
“Cover Intimate Body Areas?” Are They Kidding?
Arlington Public Schools now instructs patrons to “cover intimate body areas” while showering and changing. This is insulting, impossible, and makes us no safer from men with or without towels around their waists.
Superintendent Durán added, “Arlington Public Schools will continue to foster an inclusive community for all, including those who identify as members of the LGBTQ+ community.” He does not mean lesbians, gay men, or bisexuals, because we respect locker-room boundaries. He does not mean females who identify as trans because females threaten no one. He means that Arlington Public Schools will guarantee males access to women’s intimate spaces.
Allowing any males access to a female locker room defeats the whole purpose of the separate place. Otherwise, we’d all change and shower in one big room.
I’ve Done Everything I Can Think Of
I wrote about this problem here: Now It’s Personal: Trans Sex Offender Exposes Himself in My Locker Room and here: What Happens to Girls in All-Female Locker Rooms?
On January 25, I testified to the Arlington County Board, asking them to restrict female locker rooms to just females.
On January 29, I spoke to Nick Minock of WJLA.
On January 30, I testified to the Arlington Public School Board.
I know from responses to these articles and testimonies that I am far from alone. Virginians across the state – male and female, Republican and Democrat – share my concerns and my determination to protect girls and women from further vulnerability and victimization.
Why in the world are we traumatizing naked girls by allowing naked boys to walk in at any moment? Yes, the worst-case scenario is rape. But more ordinary, fundamental problems include:
a daily loss of dignity, privacy, and safety for girls and women
scaring girls and women out of using the women’s locker room – or participating in sports – altogether.
forcing conservative girls and women to stay out of sports and locker rooms due to cultural or religious restrictions on disrobing in front of boys or men.
Who can ensure girls’ and women’s safety, dignity, and privacy in all Virginia schools and recreational facilities?
Respectfully, I believe the answer is you.
Sincerely,
Mariah Burton Nelson
Columnist, Stronger Women
Arlington, Virginia
cc:
Jason Miyares, Virginia Attorney General
Virginia Secretary of Education Aimee Guidera
Arlington Schools Superintendent Francisco Durán
Arlington County Board Members: Takis P. Karantonis, Chair; Matt de Ferranti; Maureen Coffey, Susan Cunningham; and Julius D. "JD" Spain, Sr.
Arlington Public School Members: Mary Kadera, Chair; Bethany Zecher Sutton; Kathleen Clark; Zuraya Tapia-Hadley; Miranda Turner
Virginia High School League Executive Director John W. “Billy” Haun
Virginia Independent Schools Athletic Association Executive Director Adam Brick
Helen Machado, Director, Aquatics Management, Arlington Public Schools
Ginny Gentles, Defense of Freedom Institute
Selected Stronger Women stories about the need for female-only sports and spaces:
Thank you for writing this letter. I hope it is well received.
And this line merits repeating: “I’m transgender” has become the new “Open Sesame,” a magic phrase that grants any men access to women’s intimate spaces.
This is brilliant and inspiring. I have restacked. Thank you so much for all you do—and do keep enjoying your newfound sport!!