This struck a cord for me. I've always found it difficult to rest and relax, let alone do nothing. My efforts to meditate result in me continuously interrogating my restless mind to see if I'm doing it properly. haha Periods of not working leave me feeling guilty. Coincidentally, I was offered a project over the weekend that once would have excited and energized me. Since then I've found myself looking for an excuse to say no to it. Perhaps an accident (a small one) will befall me so I can decline. Your post has urged me to be more honest with what I actually feel instead of what I "want" to feel. Thaks.
Hey Judy, Ha ha, let's hope you find a better solution than that small accident. That's the challenge: Trusting what we actually want over what we think we might/should want. Also, over time, what excites us changes -- or our reactions to opportunities shift to a mixed, muddy middle range where the excitement bells go off -- ALONG with deeper knowing that "no" might be a better answer. In my experience, each "no" leads to at least one "yes" that is initially impossible to foresee. Would love to hear how your no goes. :-)
When I was training, (I was on the U.S. National Team for 9 years) I was so aware of the importance of rest, of being horizontal, of riding the wave of "a lot" v. "too much" that created sickness or injury. But it's harder in my work-life, where I just pulled an all-nighter. At 62y/o. I've often thought ... ahhhhh, I'm sick and have a reason to rest. Good for you Mariah for making it real.
I'm working with a nonprofit that will assist high school girls to do what the brave college women's volleyball players did when faced with competing against a male player. Five college teams forfeited against San Jose State. Some of those female athletes are now being sued for breach of contract for choosing to not accept the risk of competing against a male who can leap head and shoulders above the female height net and who has about an 80 mph spike. One athlete said her team is refusing to collude in the destruction of female sports on behalf of girls who are future female players. Many say high school girls should do the same thing – just walk away from a contest that includes mediocre male athletes who can easily beat them. By why should our daughters and granddaughters have to deal with this themselves? The adults should step up to fix the problem.
We have a plan that will allow high school players to walk out of federally mandated male inclusion in not just female athletics but in female changing rooms and showers. That's right. The reversal or Title IX gives all male students female sex-based rights under threat of loss of academic funding. A reversal is my description; the Dept of Ed calls it a minor rule change. But conflating sex with gender is obviously a reversal of the intent and plain reading of Title IX. Red states that passed laws to prevent male students from participating in female sports and getting into female showers in high schools and colleges got federal court injunctions against the Democrats' reversal of Title IX, but more than half the states are “inclusive” of males and even demand girls not speak out about the risks and demoralizing destruction of all their efforts to become elite athletes. Our plan will help girls escape this abusive relationship by walking away to something better.
But won't Trump fix this problem?
If Trump swoops in to save the day with a presidential signing statement banning transgender-identified boys and men in all states from female sports and showers, 25 blue state attorneys general will get their own federal court injunctions to prevent Trump's “fix” from stopping them from affirming males onto female teams and into female showers in high schools and colleges. That means many more years of blue states screwing girls and women out of our rights. Without a groundswell of support, Dem-led states' injunctions against a simplistic Trump signing statement will stretch out this fight. The Dems will have dishonest gender ideology talking points to retake the House in two years and the presidency in 2028.
We have a better idea than a presidential signing statement. We're building a broad based coalition from the Left and Right for a permanent fix to the mess gender ideology has caused. I'm working with a group that has written a US federal bill to reestablish women's rights that is more comprehensive and definitely more sensible than what is proposed by Republicans. Their idea for fixing the damage caused by gender ideology is to revert to teaching our nation's children to abide by outdated stereotypes like making gender nonconforming girls wear dresses to school again. Both extremes apparently want to reinforce dysfunctional sex stereotypes. We want kids to be accepted for who they are without teachers, friends and idiots on TikTok telling them they are defective and need to destroy their health and sterilize themselves. Our bill does this, and our sports plan reaffirms that girls are just as important as boys in our country.
Let's fix this problem once and for all with a solid reassertion of sex-based rights (our sons need that too). Trump can still be The Man by signing this bill. He can claim it as his legacy, but he'll have a more permanent solution from Congress that is widely supported across our country.
We'd like to discuss our ideas with some of you women who are retired elite athletes. Please contact me via substack if you're interested in hearing more.
Yes, Nancy, champion athletes like you have to learn this... but those lessons don't always transfer to the rest of life. Sometimes I've realized my back pain has forced me to rest - when just resting in the first place would have been simpler and less painful! We learn whenever we learn... :-)
Oh my, I'm late to these comments! I wrote this before reading the other comments: The Italian phrase "il dolce far niente" translates to "the sweetness of doing nothing" and encapsulates an Italian philosophy of enjoying idleness. It's not about being lazy, but rather the pleasure of being idle. Bought your book...as a lifelong athlete, I need to realize I'm not 25 anymore either!
This essay has me chuckling as the “annual hysterectomy”—back in my rural Wisconsin obstetric nursing era (yeah, Taylor wrote about it, I’m sure)-the Mennonite women would come to the hospital, pay $2000 cash at the cashier window and check in for a 5-day vacation-having this year’s baby. It was the only rest they got. Yes, it was so long ago that the hospital bill was $2000 and we had healthy women stay 5 days in the hospital for a normal delivery.
Enjoy your time off. I’m coming up on my 2 year anniversary of a weekly sabbath.
What's also interesting is that there are two versions of the phrase. The one that's actually grammatically correct—which you see from people writing about the concept in and of itself, or focusing on therapeutic rather than quality-of-life angles—is "IL dolce far niente".
"LA dolce far niente" is technically incorrect grammar, but it's meant as a reference to "la dolce vita" (literally "the sweet life", but basically more like the often-elusive ideal that English speakers call "the good life")—so this one leans more heavily on the quality-of-life measure.
Also, as a former high-level athlete, surely You know very well how the benefits of workouts/conditioning don't come during the workouts themselves, but during the following hours or days of resting, eating and sleeping well.
"Rest is a kind of workout too", as coaches have been telling athletes with a tendency to overtrain for as long as there have been coaches.
Thanks, Donna! Means a lot coming from you. Worked hard on a previous version, tossed that, and found a way to relaxing with this one. Glad it conveys. :-)
This struck a cord for me. I've always found it difficult to rest and relax, let alone do nothing. My efforts to meditate result in me continuously interrogating my restless mind to see if I'm doing it properly. haha Periods of not working leave me feeling guilty. Coincidentally, I was offered a project over the weekend that once would have excited and energized me. Since then I've found myself looking for an excuse to say no to it. Perhaps an accident (a small one) will befall me so I can decline. Your post has urged me to be more honest with what I actually feel instead of what I "want" to feel. Thaks.
Hey Judy, Ha ha, let's hope you find a better solution than that small accident. That's the challenge: Trusting what we actually want over what we think we might/should want. Also, over time, what excites us changes -- or our reactions to opportunities shift to a mixed, muddy middle range where the excitement bells go off -- ALONG with deeper knowing that "no" might be a better answer. In my experience, each "no" leads to at least one "yes" that is initially impossible to foresee. Would love to hear how your no goes. :-)
When I was training, (I was on the U.S. National Team for 9 years) I was so aware of the importance of rest, of being horizontal, of riding the wave of "a lot" v. "too much" that created sickness or injury. But it's harder in my work-life, where I just pulled an all-nighter. At 62y/o. I've often thought ... ahhhhh, I'm sick and have a reason to rest. Good for you Mariah for making it real.
I'm working with a nonprofit that will assist high school girls to do what the brave college women's volleyball players did when faced with competing against a male player. Five college teams forfeited against San Jose State. Some of those female athletes are now being sued for breach of contract for choosing to not accept the risk of competing against a male who can leap head and shoulders above the female height net and who has about an 80 mph spike. One athlete said her team is refusing to collude in the destruction of female sports on behalf of girls who are future female players. Many say high school girls should do the same thing – just walk away from a contest that includes mediocre male athletes who can easily beat them. By why should our daughters and granddaughters have to deal with this themselves? The adults should step up to fix the problem.
We have a plan that will allow high school players to walk out of federally mandated male inclusion in not just female athletics but in female changing rooms and showers. That's right. The reversal or Title IX gives all male students female sex-based rights under threat of loss of academic funding. A reversal is my description; the Dept of Ed calls it a minor rule change. But conflating sex with gender is obviously a reversal of the intent and plain reading of Title IX. Red states that passed laws to prevent male students from participating in female sports and getting into female showers in high schools and colleges got federal court injunctions against the Democrats' reversal of Title IX, but more than half the states are “inclusive” of males and even demand girls not speak out about the risks and demoralizing destruction of all their efforts to become elite athletes. Our plan will help girls escape this abusive relationship by walking away to something better.
But won't Trump fix this problem?
If Trump swoops in to save the day with a presidential signing statement banning transgender-identified boys and men in all states from female sports and showers, 25 blue state attorneys general will get their own federal court injunctions to prevent Trump's “fix” from stopping them from affirming males onto female teams and into female showers in high schools and colleges. That means many more years of blue states screwing girls and women out of our rights. Without a groundswell of support, Dem-led states' injunctions against a simplistic Trump signing statement will stretch out this fight. The Dems will have dishonest gender ideology talking points to retake the House in two years and the presidency in 2028.
We have a better idea than a presidential signing statement. We're building a broad based coalition from the Left and Right for a permanent fix to the mess gender ideology has caused. I'm working with a group that has written a US federal bill to reestablish women's rights that is more comprehensive and definitely more sensible than what is proposed by Republicans. Their idea for fixing the damage caused by gender ideology is to revert to teaching our nation's children to abide by outdated stereotypes like making gender nonconforming girls wear dresses to school again. Both extremes apparently want to reinforce dysfunctional sex stereotypes. We want kids to be accepted for who they are without teachers, friends and idiots on TikTok telling them they are defective and need to destroy their health and sterilize themselves. Our bill does this, and our sports plan reaffirms that girls are just as important as boys in our country.
Let's fix this problem once and for all with a solid reassertion of sex-based rights (our sons need that too). Trump can still be The Man by signing this bill. He can claim it as his legacy, but he'll have a more permanent solution from Congress that is widely supported across our country.
We'd like to discuss our ideas with some of you women who are retired elite athletes. Please contact me via substack if you're interested in hearing more.
Yes, Nancy, champion athletes like you have to learn this... but those lessons don't always transfer to the rest of life. Sometimes I've realized my back pain has forced me to rest - when just resting in the first place would have been simpler and less painful! We learn whenever we learn... :-)
Oh my, I'm late to these comments! I wrote this before reading the other comments: The Italian phrase "il dolce far niente" translates to "the sweetness of doing nothing" and encapsulates an Italian philosophy of enjoying idleness. It's not about being lazy, but rather the pleasure of being idle. Bought your book...as a lifelong athlete, I need to realize I'm not 25 anymore either!
Hi Bertha, yes, the lost pleasure of idleness. And thanks for letting me know you purchased A Wild Swim. 🏊 Would love to hear what you think/feel. 😀💜
This essay has me chuckling as the “annual hysterectomy”—back in my rural Wisconsin obstetric nursing era (yeah, Taylor wrote about it, I’m sure)-the Mennonite women would come to the hospital, pay $2000 cash at the cashier window and check in for a 5-day vacation-having this year’s baby. It was the only rest they got. Yes, it was so long ago that the hospital bill was $2000 and we had healthy women stay 5 days in the hospital for a normal delivery.
Enjoy your time off. I’m coming up on my 2 year anniversary of a weekly sabbath.
😀 Care to share any lessons learned or benefits received from the weekly Sabbath days?
Wu wei—or, in Italian, "la dolce far-niente".
Enjoy Your time off. ❤︎
Ha, I just mentioned the same Italian saying!
Love it. Looked up literal translation: the sweet doing nothing. Thanks!
What's also interesting is that there are two versions of the phrase. The one that's actually grammatically correct—which you see from people writing about the concept in and of itself, or focusing on therapeutic rather than quality-of-life angles—is "IL dolce far niente".
"LA dolce far niente" is technically incorrect grammar, but it's meant as a reference to "la dolce vita" (literally "the sweet life", but basically more like the often-elusive ideal that English speakers call "the good life")—so this one leans more heavily on the quality-of-life measure.
Also, as a former high-level athlete, surely You know very well how the benefits of workouts/conditioning don't come during the workouts themselves, but during the following hours or days of resting, eating and sleeping well.
"Rest is a kind of workout too", as coaches have been telling athletes with a tendency to overtrain for as long as there have been coaches.
YES! Doing nothing is definitely doing something. Enjoy!
Thanks, Kathleen!
Enjoy your time off. That drawing is so relaxing! Lovely.
Thanks, Donna! Means a lot coming from you. Worked hard on a previous version, tossed that, and found a way to relaxing with this one. Glad it conveys. :-)