Hard for lifelong dems to swallow these hard truths, unfortunately. They think they’re being virtuous! I wish it wasn’t the partisan issue it’s turning out to be. I wish my fellow democrats would stop narrowing the range of acceptable conversation topics because “fascism is winning” I believe this nonsense is at the core of why we’re “here”.
I am just not sure why we can't affirm a social self concept without affirming an empirical claim. That is, tell your kids you can be male and still do superficial so-called "girl" stuff. You don't stop being a male, but we don't need to police you self-concept or self-presentation. We just need to preserve sex based rights and sex-based policies when they are bolstered by far better than guessing group data. But after that I just don't care how people think of themselves.
I think it’s good to think about these things and in part, I agree - it’s impractical and arrogant to try to revise the way people think about themselves. But the problem in this case is that children need information. Dolls and dresses are not girl things. They’re just things. And telling a boy that he will always be male, but it’s OK if he wants to consider himself female - it must be confusing at best. And it’s a very short step from there to entitlement. I think of myself as a girl therefore I deserve girls sports and spaces. Better to just explain to him the facts of life, teach him respect for girls and women, who will always be and do things, female things, and go places, female places, that do not include him.
"And everyone is affirming".... In many families everyone is "affirming" the existence of Santa Claus which doesn't make Santa real. In the case of Santa Claus, the truth organically reveals itself before most kids reach double digits with no harm done and a sweet memory of a fairy tale. With trans , the lies keep snowballing, crushing the poor kids. (Also, I don''t want to nitpick but I don't think that "most of them are gay" is even true anymore. I see many hetero couple who identify as "queer". Many trans-identified young people nowadays consider themselves gay because they are attracted to... opposite sex. It's ridiculous).
Teens and children are a vulnerable population. During the time of developing their sexuality makes them even more vulnerable. Attacking their/our sexuality is the ultimate weapon. Peer pressure as we know is powerful and so are social movements. Again, this is all a planned manipulation intended to add more confusion, illness, and now body modification. More illness=opportunity to make money off of it. Unfortunately, this makes the dark energies who are targeting the kids, monetarily wealthy.
Back in about 2021, a local lesbian painter of nudes advertised for “queer” couples to photograph for her new series.
I wanted so badly to show up with my husband and claim to be a “queer” couple. But she was an acquaintance, so I knew she’d have no problem saying NO to me—in spite of the risk of being called “transphobic.”
They know perfectly well that calling people “transphobic” is a dog-whistle, not a sincere worry.
Hi GenderRealistMom, Yes - and not picky to challenge the "most are gay" assertion.
I've seen the trend you mentioned, too: trans is so cool among certain demographics (perhaps mostly liberals and under 40), that I, too, have been told by straight young women that they identify as queer. If not about coolness, it might be an indication that they're bisexual or gradually coming out as gay. At 18, before coming out as a lesbian the following year, I told people I was "intellectually bisexual." Ha ha. It was the best I could do then, in the mid-seventies, to express my openness to women.
Not sure if this is straight-can-be-queer-too trend is significant enough to skew the statistics that look forward, from gender-dysphoric youth who become gay adults, or backward, asking gay adults if they were gender nonconforming -- which, nowadays, is being interpreted as trans. I don't have easy access to lesbian-specific stats - maybe LGB Courage Coalition does? - but there's at very least lots of anecdotal evidence of former lesbians now identifying as non-binary. A few sources:
Musa Al-Gharbi talks about how much of the rise in "trans" is actually a rise in queer and nonbinary - self-identifications that we don't really need to worry about since they are defined by nothing. We can have boutique social self-identifications but also the sex binary and sex-based rights at the same time. It is just no concern of policy at all the words people use to describe their quirky self-concepts.
I think this could evolve to be true. There could be a detente of sorts eventually. But as long as women are having double mastectomies unnecessarily in the name of non-binary… And surgeons are doing this to girls too… And both girls and women are seeing this as a way to somehow opt out of femaleness because femaleness is just so un appealing… Then we as a society still have a problem. Or several.
Hi Cassandra, sorry I wasn’t clear. I’m referring to things like the local LGBTQ high school group, which is cool and enticing these days - some straight kids say they feel left out – and myriad online groups that love-bomb these kids when they show up - and persuade them if they ID as trans their lives will be much better; they’ll have a built-in support group and can become a whole new person w a new name, leaving the depressed, autistic, bullied kid behind. It’s very seductive.
They’re affirming the kid’s rejection of their own body. That’s not something to be proud of when you think of it. But unfortunately people don’t think of it.
Hard for lifelong dems to swallow these hard truths, unfortunately. They think they’re being virtuous! I wish it wasn’t the partisan issue it’s turning out to be. I wish my fellow democrats would stop narrowing the range of acceptable conversation topics because “fascism is winning” I believe this nonsense is at the core of why we’re “here”.
I am just not sure why we can't affirm a social self concept without affirming an empirical claim. That is, tell your kids you can be male and still do superficial so-called "girl" stuff. You don't stop being a male, but we don't need to police you self-concept or self-presentation. We just need to preserve sex based rights and sex-based policies when they are bolstered by far better than guessing group data. But after that I just don't care how people think of themselves.
I think it’s good to think about these things and in part, I agree - it’s impractical and arrogant to try to revise the way people think about themselves. But the problem in this case is that children need information. Dolls and dresses are not girl things. They’re just things. And telling a boy that he will always be male, but it’s OK if he wants to consider himself female - it must be confusing at best. And it’s a very short step from there to entitlement. I think of myself as a girl therefore I deserve girls sports and spaces. Better to just explain to him the facts of life, teach him respect for girls and women, who will always be and do things, female things, and go places, female places, that do not include him.
"And everyone is affirming".... In many families everyone is "affirming" the existence of Santa Claus which doesn't make Santa real. In the case of Santa Claus, the truth organically reveals itself before most kids reach double digits with no harm done and a sweet memory of a fairy tale. With trans , the lies keep snowballing, crushing the poor kids. (Also, I don''t want to nitpick but I don't think that "most of them are gay" is even true anymore. I see many hetero couple who identify as "queer". Many trans-identified young people nowadays consider themselves gay because they are attracted to... opposite sex. It's ridiculous).
Teens and children are a vulnerable population. During the time of developing their sexuality makes them even more vulnerable. Attacking their/our sexuality is the ultimate weapon. Peer pressure as we know is powerful and so are social movements. Again, this is all a planned manipulation intended to add more confusion, illness, and now body modification. More illness=opportunity to make money off of it. Unfortunately, this makes the dark energies who are targeting the kids, monetarily wealthy.
Yes. Alas.
Back in about 2021, a local lesbian painter of nudes advertised for “queer” couples to photograph for her new series.
I wanted so badly to show up with my husband and claim to be a “queer” couple. But she was an acquaintance, so I knew she’d have no problem saying NO to me—in spite of the risk of being called “transphobic.”
They know perfectly well that calling people “transphobic” is a dog-whistle, not a sincere worry.
Hi GenderRealistMom, Yes - and not picky to challenge the "most are gay" assertion.
I've seen the trend you mentioned, too: trans is so cool among certain demographics (perhaps mostly liberals and under 40), that I, too, have been told by straight young women that they identify as queer. If not about coolness, it might be an indication that they're bisexual or gradually coming out as gay. At 18, before coming out as a lesbian the following year, I told people I was "intellectually bisexual." Ha ha. It was the best I could do then, in the mid-seventies, to express my openness to women.
Not sure if this is straight-can-be-queer-too trend is significant enough to skew the statistics that look forward, from gender-dysphoric youth who become gay adults, or backward, asking gay adults if they were gender nonconforming -- which, nowadays, is being interpreted as trans. I don't have easy access to lesbian-specific stats - maybe LGB Courage Coalition does? - but there's at very least lots of anecdotal evidence of former lesbians now identifying as non-binary. A few sources:
https://statsforgender.org/children-who-want-to-be-the-opposite-sex-are-disproportionately-likely-to-grow-up-to-be-gay/
https://archive.md/AhPKt
https://archive.md/mOHg9
Musa Al-Gharbi talks about how much of the rise in "trans" is actually a rise in queer and nonbinary - self-identifications that we don't really need to worry about since they are defined by nothing. We can have boutique social self-identifications but also the sex binary and sex-based rights at the same time. It is just no concern of policy at all the words people use to describe their quirky self-concepts.
I think this could evolve to be true. There could be a detente of sorts eventually. But as long as women are having double mastectomies unnecessarily in the name of non-binary… And surgeons are doing this to girls too… And both girls and women are seeing this as a way to somehow opt out of femaleness because femaleness is just so un appealing… Then we as a society still have a problem. Or several.
Yes, and particularly wonderful in its having articulated so many important dimensions of harm. Thank you.
Great - thanks for letting me know.
Lovely piece, thanks, Mariah
Have cross posted
https://dustymasterson.substack.com/p/who-are-you-fanny-craddock
Dusty
Terrific. Thanks, Dusty.
How to access the referenced support groups for boys, please?
Hi Cassandra, sorry I wasn’t clear. I’m referring to things like the local LGBTQ high school group, which is cool and enticing these days - some straight kids say they feel left out – and myriad online groups that love-bomb these kids when they show up - and persuade them if they ID as trans their lives will be much better; they’ll have a built-in support group and can become a whole new person w a new name, leaving the depressed, autistic, bullied kid behind. It’s very seductive.
I'm with you but be prepared for a shit storm of hate.
Why dont they ever ask, “Why so many”?
Bang on, Mariah. Wonderfully clear and concise! Thank you and Restacked.
Thanks, Mike!
I love the Chinese food analogy. It is subversive in that it sounds like it could be racist, but it's not, so jumpstarts the brain.
😀🙏
Perfect. Good to send this to Aunts and Uncles who think they are being kind.
You nailed it. Thank you.
Thanks Bev!
This woo shall pass....
😂
They’re affirming the kid’s rejection of their own body. That’s not something to be proud of when you think of it. But unfortunately people don’t think of it.
Exactly. That's my plea. Let's ask them to think about it.
So well said. Common sense. Desperately needed.
Thanks so much, Maggie.
Amazing piece, Mariah. Thank you. So, so much. I will be sharing, and hoping it helps break the spell for some folks in my life…
Great. Report back!